recent past

Last Sunday,

Nicholas, didi and I went out for a movie. Was supposed to meet didi at church before going to DP for a movie... but I overslept. Fast forward.... Nic booked the movie already. I thought we would have some time to eat first [spend time] but too bad, we didn't. Nic and didi ate waffels and I had popcorn for my lunch.

The movie was Blood:the last vampire.

Movie review- to me... the review looks nice, the action was not bad... until the end.
Pretty ridiculous.
Anyhow, managed to spend some time with my beloved didi. Not what I planned but sufficient.
No closure though...

The week went past VERY fast and I didn't get to talk to my didi yet.
And well, seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours to days and now days turned to a week since that fruitful day.

Saturday has been... sweaty... since I lost my "virginity" to the freebie... :P
My friends and I played freebie in the MMU field. It was alright.

So now its Sunday. Hours from now I have to wake up to go to church. Hoping to see didi once again. Was rewatching Step Up 2 earlier on, then chatted with Nic followed by some reading on Psychology while listening to some music. This lyric struck me... especially after the words ..."you want somebody" ...by David Archuleta.

You're reaching out
And no one hears you cry
You're freaking out again

Cause all your fears remind you

Another dream has come undone
You feel so small and lost

Like you're the only one

You wanna scream cause you're desperate

You want somebody, just anybody

To lay their hands on your soul tonight

You want a reason to keep believing

That someday you're gonna see the light

You're in the dark

There's no one to call

And sleep's your only friend

But even sleep can't hide you

From all those tears

And all the pain and all the day

You wasted pushing them away

It's your life,it's time you face it

....

I realised that I have made didi an important part of my life. And I've made my world revolve around him. Sometimes I feel I try to hard. A lot of time I think wayyyy too much. I guess like in the song, I'm simply desperate to find meaning in my relationship with my didi. I'm simply desperate to find a reason to keep on believing.

Gestalt Psychology is true when psychologist saw that humans tend to see the bigger picture and not the individual parts. In addition, they saw the process of imposing meaning and structure on incoming stimuli as automatic and outside conscious awareness.

My conversation with Nic revolves too much around my brother. I should let go. Not what I believe in, but my over thinking. Here's a shout out to Nic for always being there, being the 'somebody' in my life, supporting my relationship with his best friend. Also to friends like Moira, for guiding me to see the individual parts of my life when things don't go my way.

I'm a desperado...
I guess we all are in some way or another ; just to feel important.

~xoxo~
ShAuNnY BoY:P ~