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Monday, April 14, 2008

Relationships

Let's discuss relationship. Well, some may be longer than the other or the idea may not be complete, just be patient be me aite :)


I would like to discuss on 3 points:-

  • blood related siblings


  • god-siblings(pet brother's and sister's as some may call it)

  • adoption


I have gone through many nights, talking over coffee & tea at mamak stalls, having pillow talks & couch talks, on the topic of relationship. In particular, FRIENDSHIP & issues pertaining to my god-sibling. So what do we talk about? I hope I can blog down the idea & concept that we've talked about and what MY thoughts on things are.


So, does the phrase "blood is thicker than water" still stand in this modern era?


Well... I reckon it still does. I look at people and society around me. Well, these days people are most individualistic and materialistic. At times, I too am not far from being those kind. However, I always try to keep myself incheck. Enough about that. From young, siblings get to bond with each other, growing up together. Although with different personalities, NORMALLY siblings would always stick together till old age and when one goes into trouble, another would try to help out in whatever they can if it is in their capacity to do so. I dont know how to explain it but I believe that it is just by nature, blood related siblings share something in common and thats the way it just is.



In my talks with my friend sometime last month I think, she asked me on why do I take friendship seriously. Why do I care so much for my god-bro? Well, I have my reasons. I believe in treating people right. I believe in treating the person and not of who they are...but we do get carried away at time, dont we? ..hehe. I believe in love that my Christian faith has taught me;God is Love ~ Deus Caritas Est!!! To love others as I love myself. Well, if we love someone so much, wouldn't we treat the person nice? PEOPLE, THAT'S THE REASON WHY I AM NICE TO MY GOD-BRO. Sometimes, it just seems so hard on me, to put my faith into practise but I'm trying and I'm tired of trying to justify my concepts but I will faithfully continue to do so. I may at time lose faith in my belief but what is HOPE IF there is no God to hope in; that things will work out fine some way? What is Love IF God is not love; who cares for us?



She also asked me that what if in future you were in trouble, will your god-sibling come to your rescue like what blood related would? (oh we talked bout many family issues, buuuttt I'm not writing it down)...and states that isn't god-sibling merely your friends...



In actual fact, I myself have put some thought into this issue long long time ago. I do agree that there is a GREAT tendency that things would swing that way... that no matter what happens god-siblings are just friends. However, I want to prove this notion wrong...although this is my LAST and FINAL try. I know that my hope is justified and I'll give examples.



**eg 1 : in Christian gatherings, formal or informal, the leader would always use the term 'brothers and sisters in Christ' , 'my venerable brothers' , etc. etc.

Isn't it a paradox, conflicting and hypocritical of people if they used those terms but yet resort to behaviours like help your FAMILY first,think of your family first. Well, I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just implying that shouldn't we all treat one another (the human race) equal and of one big family? I'll give another example when I get my hands on adoption.



There was another question posted to me by my god-sibling's close friend. He asked me if I treated my BLOOD RELATED bro the same way as I treat my god-bro. Honestly speaking, no ... not really... not at all. But why? The same reasoning applies here... that blood related relatives simply have the tendency to click and get along with each other. If in future he's in trouble, it is of "family instict" that I would help out in whatever I can and in my capacity. My standard answer to people that asks of me this question is... we have a totally opposite likings and personalities, and we only talk on some stuff FOREVER not touching on personal lives. Yet, as I've mentioned, blood is still thicker than water and I'll be the good guy when he needs my help in future. As for my god-bro,I try to take good care of the relationship with him and more careful in it because the relationship is by far more delicate and fragile in nature. Experience has taught me, not once. But in the end, I also believe that, as the saying goes, 'it takes 2 to tango' or ' tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi' , in order for this relationship to work.



**eg 2 : Adoption has another complicted matter. While they are not blood related, I believe siblings of this kind an click along quite well. And the only difference between god-sibling (that I have) and of adoption is the use of BINDING LAW. However, more complicated disputes would eventually arise if the parents manage to get a biological child and those siblings might argue over inheritance later on in life. That is not what I want to discuss here right now.



So then again, I emphasize and ask this question... why can't a "god-sibling" relationship work( similar to the adoption concept) if siblings from adoptions can work their way out? **apart from law that binds**



MY answer would be ... who say's it can't?



+Shaun~



Monday, (14/4/08) ; Hall-home,Malacca

1 comments:

pepperannong said...

Hi I was wondering ard blogspot and came across this relationship entry of yours.

Well, it's highly interesting to be comparing adopting to a god sibling, both of which need a lot of effort to make work. And as you have said more fragile and delicate in nature.

However what came across my mind is probably there is a difference between adopted siblings and god-siblings. The difference being that yes altho god-siblings at the end will only be friends. Also, that the decision making of this 'sibling relatioinship' is of your own and in adoption its the parents.
I actually don't have the time right now to elaborate on that, but i would say that, that factor is worth exploring because it can give connotations to the different relationships between siblings.

very provoking thoughts tho. I've never come across this subject matter before. cheers!