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Sunday, March 9, 2008

my weekend (@@)

So here it goes...

Saturday evening finally came. It was time for me to get ready to go to St. Ignatius Church. I promised my bro (VINCENT) that i would go to the overnight vigil for youths organised by ASAYO. It was from 8.00pm Saturday till 7.00am Sunday. Apparently he was with the CKK music ministry group and that night he was playing a few songs for the Praise & Worship session. So i went all alone. If it were not for him, i wouldnt have gone anyway. ( I was being bad... lolz...i didn't go there for Jesus ... SOWIE)

So when i got there, there were so many youths gathered in the hall already. I walked to the end of the hall and i sat behind. I saw my bro and i was contented. I have not seen him for approximately 3 months already... but when i was there, in the midst of 520 Roman Catholic youths, i felt lonely... at least for about 1 1/2 hour at least. The guy on my right finally introduced himself (Andrew) and his friend (Rema). We started talking and well ... I wasn't alone at last. But what went through my mind when i was left alone??

I thought of how superficial youths at bigger gatherings were. Sometimes we hear them say, "Oh, what a great experience to see so many people share the same faith gathered at this same place to praise and worship God" or how others might say " Oh, we met new people and we bonded well as we are brother and sister in Christ". Automatically, the word BULLSHIT came into my mind. I also felt bad (in the midst of people praising God ) to the point of asking myself what am i doing staying in the Catholic faith. I have never really felt the presence of Christ in my life (though i sometimes see small "miracles") or never have i been touched by the Holy Spirit.
For i myself know that no matter how speakers/facilitators tried their very best to impress me
with what Jesus has done for me with their many ways ... (movie included)... I've never really felt a sense of pity/empathy. I don't know why, but that's the real way i feel. I go to church every Sunday praying that one day i will feel God and I'm only worried that i might lose my faith by then. I'm simply not being a WITNESS but I'm just a follower, relying on the faith of others. When Lord would you come and safe me??

So, when i wasn't 'alone' anymore, there was a session given. And in the midst of all those inspiring words and jokes... the fever of the election crept in ... I heard "Samy Vellu lost already", then people around starts sms-ing , i too had a call :P and the best thing is...i went to this overnight vigil without my parents knowing, i didn't tell them as i thought its just a church thingy.. My mom called and told me not to go out, being afraid of a riot breakout :P

So then we had supper at about 12am. Met few new teenagers from Lifeteen CKK. They were Paula, Cheryl and Charmaine. My bro did not notice me around ..hehe.. I kept low profile. I think he was looking for me at the rooftop (that was where we had our supper). Later on I smsed him, asking how things are going...he was like... why aren't you here?? Sensing his slight disappointment i told him to look 7 o'clock and finally he saw me :P that was like at 1am. :D

So, after supper, we continued with Stations of the Cross. We journeyed the 14 stations with movie I've mentioned earlier...I just felt like throwing up (just after supper) at seeing the brutality done unto Jesus, but i wasn't so touched as i have watched the movie before. well, some people cried... but not me. I don't know why but as i tried my best to reflect on the face of Jesus, i kept seeing my bro's image, and it made me think that MAYBE God is calling me through my lil bro. Maybe that was God's way for inviting me to meet Him, getting intouch with the Lord, by attending this gathering.... ya d ya d ya da... Taize, adoration before the Holy Sacrament or confession was carried out, we had to choose one and i chose Taize :) ... after that if I'm not wrong was Mass... I wasn't so alert by then ( approx 5am) and the mass was quad-lingual. So, after mass, i wanted to speak to my least to say goodbye as my new found friend offered to send me back home :P but my bro had to pack things up. So i didn't manage to speak to him face to face at all...

In the end, now... I'm a little bit disappointed in myself as did not do my best to make my rendezvous with my brother memorable, or even great... :(

Reached home about 7am, took a nap and later at 1.30pm, i attended a discussion on leadership by K.L.C.C. (CSS's). Went to mass at 5.30pm again and dinner then back home...



bro - you know who you are :P
if you want your name to appear, just say it and its done :P


Signing off,

~shaun~ @11.42pm,sun (9/3/08)


Anonymous said...

superficiality exists a lot more than genuineness...maybe that's why it's a lot harder to recognise the genuine people amongst the superficial ones... but never give hope for genuine people exist...
i say this because i've met them...and i'd like to believe that i am one of them...if there is chance, then we will meet...